The purpose of this blog is to give helpful insights into issues, themes and situations that hinder living in fullness of life. Posted from newest to oldest, they cover a variety of subjects. Browse by scrolling through the articles or using the Archive. The 1st post "Greetings" is an introduction to this blog. More about Abundant Life Services can be found via the link to the website. Please feel free to comment if you would like or submit ideas for future posts.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Feelings, "make them stop"

Hi, and welcome to my first post on topics meant to inform, strengthen or encourage.
A common question is something like this; "How do I make feelings I don't like, go away?" The truth is, there is little we can do to "make" feelings go away. They come to us via thoughts, events, circumstances and even beliefs we have (even if those beliefs are not true). While we might not be able to make the feelings go away, we can manage our feelings. If fact, if we don't learn to manage our feelings, our feelings will manage us. For example, the Bible says, "be angry, and sin not" (Ephesians 4:26). In other words, we might not be able to stop feeling anger but we have choices as to what we do with it. While it might initially make us "feel" good by verbally blasting the person we are angry at, in the long run the guilt we feel, the wounds we inflict or the break in relationship that occurs, may be worse than the temporary good feeling of blasting out our anger.
I find that, often people are unable to see the choices that can be made to manage the feeling. Instead we operate on auto-pilot based on what we have always done, even if what we have always done is not emotionally or spiritually healthy. Counseling often consists of gaining awareness of what the issues are and then learning healthy tools that can be used in those new areas of awareness. It's not an instant or quick fix, but in time and with some work - we can learn manage our feelings in healthy ways. One of the joys of counseling is seeing people become empowered by seeing new tools and new choices that can be applied to those pesky feelings that so often seem to run our lives. When those tools are implemented, real change is possible.
So next time you find yourself wondering, "how can I make this feeling go away;" instead, ask yourself, "if I wanted to manage this feeling in a healthy way, what choices could I make."
Feel free to submit topics or questions you would find useful to be addressed on this blog.
May God bless you with Hope and Life.  
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1 comment:

  1. Thought this was an excellent statement: "if we don't learn to manage our feelings, our feelings will manage us." So often we feel as if we have to be a puppet to our emotions/feelings and that we have no control. With God's help we CAN learn to manage the emotions and make better choices even in tough circumstances.