Unthinkable!

   Another week, another story in the news cycle. A journalist beheaded on video in Iraq. Unthinkable! His only crime was being an American. A reality, that is to some, an evil thing. So for the unthinkable evil of being an American journalist who wanted to get the story of the plight of Syrians out to the world, comes the unthinkable evil of his execution - recorded, distributed, watched and, for some, celebrated. Unthinkable!

   We want to believe the unthinkable only happens in Countries like Syria and Iraq, but for an estimated quarter of our population unthinkable is not so far away. It’s the little blue-eyed girl next door who is sexually abused by her father. Or the troublesome boy on your soccer team who is chained to the kitchen table for misbehaving. It’s the child rape victim in the town next to yours. It’s the toddler, with the sad eyes, in your Sunday School class who was molested. Unthinkable - we wish; yet only too common. So what is it that is unthinkable? Is it unthinkable that evil exists? Are the acts themselves unthinkable? Or is it that we don’t want to think about it; about them? Is it that we don’t want to think about those, all around us, who suffer from childhood trauma, suffer guilt and shame as if the sexual/physical abuse that happened to them was somehow their fault.

   So, we try not to think about those unthinkable acts; but to do so we must try not the think about “them” - the victims.   Consequently we make “them” unthinkable and send them a message that they too, are not to think about it. If a victim of the unthinkable is not to think about it, what does that do to their view of self? Because something unthinkable happened to them does not make them unthinkable; does not mean they are left to suffer their pain, their memories in silence.

   Healing of unthinkable acts does not come by not thinking about them. Quite the opposite, healing comes by thinking about it, by talking about it. In doing so they begin to talk about themselves, about their pain. They may learn that things have happened to them that were not normal but that does not mean they are not normal. How would anyone find that out if the unthinkable remains unspoken.

   There is only one thing worse than thinking about the unthinkable and that is to not think about it; because the only way not think about it is to not think about the victims. To not think about them, about the millions in this country that have suffered unthinkable acts is the most unthinkable thing of all.

   As a counselor, I think about it all the time and as a result I think about them. I think about the wounded and broken, the silent and the ashamed. I also think about those who dared to think about the unthinkable and, as a result, become whole and healed, vocal and powerful. There are answers for the unthinkable. There are safe places to go to think about it and talk about it and find help through it. Do you need such a place? Do you know someone who does? Will you do something about it? All I ask is that you . . . think about it . .
May the God of healing bring wholeness to all who are wounded.

To know more about Abundant Life Services counseling click on the link to the right. To submit a question or topic email alifeservices@gmail.com